Jerry and Karen Holte in Swaziland from Paul Chasusa on Vimeo.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tribute to Mother by Karen Holte
My mother died four years ago. Today, August 23, is her birthday. I was reminded of a tribute I wrote about mom on Mother's Day in 2008. It was good to revisit that writing and say Happy Birthday.
My mother, age 78, was in poor health before we left for South Africa. She had 3 major surgeries just months prior to our departure. Mother gave me her blessing to go to Africa but she did ask me if I would/could be with her when she died. Of course I desired to honor her request. Mother also made a financial provision for me to do so knowing the expenses of flying. When my sister emailed me the details of her health situation and that her feeding tube was going to be removed, there was an overwhelming sense of loss, especially being a continent away. The doctor and my sister awaited my arrival before the procedure started. It took several days to finally make arrangements to fly home. Mother had been a resident of Westridge Quality Care Center in Clarinda for the last two years. It was difficult to fly to the states without Jerry, but he blessed me to go solo and God provided the grace and comfort.
My sister and I sat next to mother’s bedside for 11 days. Mother did recognize me when I first arrived and we exchanged conversations before she slipped in and out of consciousness. My sis and I have always had a close relationship, so these many days together added to that established foundation. We laughed, we cried, we talked and we reminisced. Mother had gone into a deep sleep and yet we knew she was aware of our presence. Mother always had a sense of humor and was fantastic with numbers, loving bookkeeping. It was April 15, and God gave me a “knowing” that it would be the day that mom would “cross over.” At some point I told sis that everyone has to pay taxes and die, and mother was going to do both on the same day, and she did.
I have never watched death before. I felt it both a privilege and honor to be at her side. We created an atmosphere for her by playing Christian music around the clock, fresh flowers and she received several lotion rubs each day. Mom told us that she saw three angels. It was 9:54 p.m. when mother sighed and took one last breath. It was all so peaceful, quiet and tender. Just as we realized that it was over, a great breeze came through the window with such force that the curtain was almost waving. I knew the angels were ushering her “home.”
Three years ago I was blessed to assist in the birth of our first grandchild and I now realize there is a similarity between birth and death – God’s undeniable Presence. I can truly say, “Though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil. The Lord prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemy, He anointed my head with oil and my cup overflowed.”
My mother was born an identical twin. She was eight when her mother died. During the Depression her father was unable to keep all four of the children so the twins were sent to live with relatives. Mother’s life was dotted with tragedies – my father’s tragic death when I was 12, she survived cancer and she had severe health problems for the last several years of life. What I recognized about mother is that “she finished strong”. She taught us compassion by caring for elderly neighbors. Even though church was not regular for her, she made it regular for us. She could make 5 meals from one chicken and make you think you had enough. We were taught work ethics when we were young and by junior high, we could purchase our own clothes. With each of her hospital stays, every ambulance ride and each physical therapy session, we heard reports of praise about mother’s attitude. She never complained or grumbled. My mother, Irma Rose was named after her mother, Kathryn Rose. Mother was buried at Rose Hill Cemetery. How interesting to see the Weaver’s Hand!
We decided to make mother’s funeral reception a celebration of her life. On Main Street, Shenandoah, Iowa is a tea room – we had tea, we had gourmet coffee, sandwiches, salads and five desserts. Mother would have loved it – she did finish strong! It will indeed be odd to acknowledge Mother’s Day without our mothers, but they are forever within our hearts!
I’ve now returned to South Africa and to Jerry. Due to storms in the states and my missing all the connecting flights to Africa, my travel time was 3 days vs. the normal 2. Peace continued to be my companion through it all, even the missing luggage. When we arrived home at the game farm I saw where the monkeys had upset the trash cans by our abode. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get out of the car and start the adjustment again, but as soon as I walked into our little 300 sq. ft. home, I could smell the thatch roof and I saw a gecko scurry up the wall…I looked to Jerry, smiled and said “I’m home”! With deep and abiding love, joy and peace, I truly am glad to return to Africa. Jerry and I have “crossed over” into a new season of our journey together. We are expectant for what God is going to do!
My mother, age 78, was in poor health before we left for South Africa. She had 3 major surgeries just months prior to our departure. Mother gave me her blessing to go to Africa but she did ask me if I would/could be with her when she died. Of course I desired to honor her request. Mother also made a financial provision for me to do so knowing the expenses of flying. When my sister emailed me the details of her health situation and that her feeding tube was going to be removed, there was an overwhelming sense of loss, especially being a continent away. The doctor and my sister awaited my arrival before the procedure started. It took several days to finally make arrangements to fly home. Mother had been a resident of Westridge Quality Care Center in Clarinda for the last two years. It was difficult to fly to the states without Jerry, but he blessed me to go solo and God provided the grace and comfort.
My sister and I sat next to mother’s bedside for 11 days. Mother did recognize me when I first arrived and we exchanged conversations before she slipped in and out of consciousness. My sis and I have always had a close relationship, so these many days together added to that established foundation. We laughed, we cried, we talked and we reminisced. Mother had gone into a deep sleep and yet we knew she was aware of our presence. Mother always had a sense of humor and was fantastic with numbers, loving bookkeeping. It was April 15, and God gave me a “knowing” that it would be the day that mom would “cross over.” At some point I told sis that everyone has to pay taxes and die, and mother was going to do both on the same day, and she did.
I have never watched death before. I felt it both a privilege and honor to be at her side. We created an atmosphere for her by playing Christian music around the clock, fresh flowers and she received several lotion rubs each day. Mom told us that she saw three angels. It was 9:54 p.m. when mother sighed and took one last breath. It was all so peaceful, quiet and tender. Just as we realized that it was over, a great breeze came through the window with such force that the curtain was almost waving. I knew the angels were ushering her “home.”
Three years ago I was blessed to assist in the birth of our first grandchild and I now realize there is a similarity between birth and death – God’s undeniable Presence. I can truly say, “Though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil. The Lord prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemy, He anointed my head with oil and my cup overflowed.”
My mother was born an identical twin. She was eight when her mother died. During the Depression her father was unable to keep all four of the children so the twins were sent to live with relatives. Mother’s life was dotted with tragedies – my father’s tragic death when I was 12, she survived cancer and she had severe health problems for the last several years of life. What I recognized about mother is that “she finished strong”. She taught us compassion by caring for elderly neighbors. Even though church was not regular for her, she made it regular for us. She could make 5 meals from one chicken and make you think you had enough. We were taught work ethics when we were young and by junior high, we could purchase our own clothes. With each of her hospital stays, every ambulance ride and each physical therapy session, we heard reports of praise about mother’s attitude. She never complained or grumbled. My mother, Irma Rose was named after her mother, Kathryn Rose. Mother was buried at Rose Hill Cemetery. How interesting to see the Weaver’s Hand!
We decided to make mother’s funeral reception a celebration of her life. On Main Street, Shenandoah, Iowa is a tea room – we had tea, we had gourmet coffee, sandwiches, salads and five desserts. Mother would have loved it – she did finish strong! It will indeed be odd to acknowledge Mother’s Day without our mothers, but they are forever within our hearts!
I’ve now returned to South Africa and to Jerry. Due to storms in the states and my missing all the connecting flights to Africa, my travel time was 3 days vs. the normal 2. Peace continued to be my companion through it all, even the missing luggage. When we arrived home at the game farm I saw where the monkeys had upset the trash cans by our abode. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get out of the car and start the adjustment again, but as soon as I walked into our little 300 sq. ft. home, I could smell the thatch roof and I saw a gecko scurry up the wall…I looked to Jerry, smiled and said “I’m home”! With deep and abiding love, joy and peace, I truly am glad to return to Africa. Jerry and I have “crossed over” into a new season of our journey together. We are expectant for what God is going to do!
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